Finding Your Path

Can you believe it was World Mental Health Day was just over a week ago already? I think a lot of us know all too well how busy life can get, it already feels like a distant memory. I deliberately waited for a couple of days after World Mental Health Day to share some reflections and thoughts, because I firm believer that we should be talking about Mental Health not just on World Mental Health Day, but throughout the year.

On World Mental Health Day itself I was travelling into London and I got a rare chance to see the local green space of mine, early in the morning. I decided to take a photograph as the mist/fog rolling over the space made it look very different to what I normally see it as.

As I absorbed a lot of information through the webinar's I saw, the conversations I had and my own thoughts and feelings I found myself finding a lot of similarities between the green space I had encountered and my own mental health journey. I love a good analogy and being able to visualise things wherever possible and wanted to share my thoughts around what I came up with.

Self-Compassion is important

I have lived near this particular green space for nearly 20 years, and I am very familiar with its layout and various components. Going to visit it for a walk or just to cross to access town on the other side, normally gives me a sense of comfort. However, on this morning in particular, even though nothing had significantly changed, the mist/fog rolling across the field made it appear different and this bought me a sense of unease.

All too often I think we go about our normal routine with the expectation that things will go as we intend them too and nothing unexpected will happen. Sometimes unexpected things happen that are out of our control and when we encounter them our reaction to it is often negative. Delays on our travel arrangements, as on example, can really put us 'out of sync' especially when the rest of our days plan needs to be adapted.

The above is not an uncommon occurrence. What we often fail to do is show ourselves compassionate when we have to take a moment to process unexpected changes to our routine, even the small things.

Taking the time to pause/process

Upon finding the green space was different to what I expected and despite my desire to walk on as quickly as possible to resume my expectations of the day, I found myself needing to take a moment to process what I was seeing to make the best decision.

Should I take the normal safe path that was dry and steady underfoot or should I risk crossing directly on less secure footed, likely wet and slippery grass?

In the past I have pressured myself to make a quick decision and not taking time to consider the consequences. There have been occasions where it has paid off, but I think the majority of the time, when I make decisions and they do not go 'according to plan' my anxiety uses it as fuel to remind me that I made a mistake or the wrong choice.

I knew I had to make a decision and commit to it, because the time I had was limited. However, the importance of taking the time to briefly pause, even briefly allowed me to assess the situation that was in front of me. It meant I felt much more comfortable in the decision I made and although it may have taken more time than if I had dived in, I was content with the time taken to make an informed decision.

Celebrating the wins, no matter how small

I crossed the green space on the dry and secure path and felt a sense of achievement when I got to the other side. It was only a small thing, but it did not matter, I reminded myself that the thought processes I had followed was valuable and the moment had passed.

We do not celebrate the wins very often, but what I can tell you is that if I had made what my brain would have considered as the 'wrong' decision and I got my feet wet, both the brain and my anxiety would not have let me forget it either during the day or the following, weeks, months or even years.

Whilst I've written out the above, it all happened in a matter of second or minutes. Hopefully, this is a good example of just how much our thoughts, feelings and other things like anxiety can have an impact on the most simple of experiences. Given that for some like myself, our thoughts and feelings can fixate on the little things most of all. This can involve us to feel very exhausted on a given, hour, week, month or year.